Disclaimer: The Ghost of Eazy E is the Republican Governor of a red state with a large black population, who has enough time to procrastinate on the AV Club since he was elected on a platform of preventing the government from doing anything.

Just A Few Of The Things That Straight White Males Like Me Will Lose If Trump Wins:

There were lots of liberals in 2008 that were just as adamantly against Obama

I think they're telling you who not to vote for. To be fair, telling people not to vote for a mendacious con man is pretty reasonable advice.

"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."

"Jane Doe, 1936-2016
Beautiful Wife, Loving Mother, Hysterical Cowardly Narcissist"

How had I missed this? Thanks!

Why yes, it is pretty simple.

Right, which makes sense. It's the spots where nobody ever stops for more than five seconds at a time except to merge that get me.
The guy working the end of Exit 9 off the Deegan cleans up for just that reason, the light has something like a 1 green : 10 red cycle.

I'll never figure out how some of these guys pick their spots. Hey, maybe the people merging from three one-way two-lane ramps onto a four-lane bridge are a little too distracted and/or angry to give you any money.

You can't even get bottled water for less than that now, so it's a deal for the customer and you get like $20 profit.
I wonder how long it takes the guy on Harlem River Drive to move a case. Today, probably not long at all.
There's a guy who posts up outside Yankee Stadium and sells for two apiece, and he probably…

"Watch Billy Crystal EVISCERATE Muhamm…wait, that's not right."

e) Works sporadically as a painter/drywall guy and also sells water on the street

Do their parents not have HBO? I always assumed that's how everyone here was watching Game of Thrones.

Not to mention that the IRS' customer service reps are generally more personable than any others I deal with. They're right up there with "My local credit union where I'm on a first-name basis with all the employees."

Woman: What do you see as your main strengths?

ALWAYS turn off the circuit breaker before fishing.

He also speaks to people who perceive the darker aspects of the web, such as a family that shuns the electronic “manifestation of evil” and a woman who “became very ill from wireless radiation.”

"The Sheeple are a race of trusting pacifists from Ixbog IV in the Booblehop sector. They are best known for their habit of sleeping for years at a time, until awakened by urgent shouting from the Knowers of Secrets in time of crisis."

Oh god yes. I was expecting "how do I make dabs" or "is living in Boston expensive."