Probably because he's not some kind of damned Communist.

My punctuation is so avant-garde that I don't even need quotation marks, Cormac muttered as he tossed in his bedroll lit only by the railspark coldness of the stars above.

Yeah, but just wait until you see in the credits that S2 of Horace & Pete was produced by the Fistula Foundation.

But it's right here where it's always been…oh shit, wait a minute, somebody walked off with my privilege!

That sounds like something a non-white person would say!

The Terry Gilliam Clusterfuck

"Has anybody in this family ever even seen a chicken?"

BWOWWOWchikaBWOWWOWchikachikachika

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
—Peggy's mom's ranch hands

I attended a benefit for TBA once, and that turned into a real riot.

No, I didn't know it existed. But if I had, I wouldn't have wanted it, and I'd have been right.

Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is he? And it ain't as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous now, is it?

The Rururr Jururr hereby resigns from the Internet.

We'll just have to agree that each other's opinion is incorrect, at least on those two songs.

You know, Flock of Seagulls is hilarious and all, but "I Ran" and "Space Age Love Song" always delight me when they come on the radio.

whatever the 2032 equivalent of dubstep

Bravo, well said.

Buzzfeed's 2032 equivalent

My favorite is when the items in question WOULD NORMALLY NEVER CONTAIN GLUTEN TO BEGIN WITH.

The first time my wife and I traveled to Vermont, she could not stop staring at the white chambermaids, because (being from Florida) this was something she'd literally never seen in the United States before.