Usually it’s the roadrunner edition that is around explosions

walk without rhythm and you won’t attract the worm

“the results are back from customer testing. people are reporting the recycled bricks aren’t as painful to step on when barefoot”

“call everything off, guys, say its not as good for the environment as we thought or something.”

It was more expensive in Canada because in the Canadian version, Simon Belmont used a hockey stick instead of a whip.

sorry you think you deserve an apology

And they are in every aspect of life for disabled people. People like that who work for social security and throw every excuse in the book to people with valid disabilities trying to get their own money back they paid into the system when they need it. People who work for health insurance companies pulling out all the…

Get preapproval from your bank, and finance your car that way, not through the dealership to get a lower interest rate. 14% is ridiculous

That’s not even mentioning the tag, tax, and insurance, assuming he’s not skipping those.

Its not easy to drive into the side of a truck when it is laying in the highway

No game over? that guy from Aliens is going to be disappointed.

Dr Strange shows up

Zer’s mother had many, many offspring, to make sure the shop will go on

Women en masse really need to do everything they can to get the laws changed by using their voice and the vote

Sometimes you have to work on the car you’ve got,
cheap, expensive, boring or not.

That’s a great point, but have you considered this?

,

“It’s not a good game of air hockey if the puck doesn’t fly off the table and hit someone, risking a fight or getting thrown out.”

*other guy in space suit
“shut up and fix the window!”

*activates filter to alter appearance
*officer starts to talk angrily, stops for a moment.”I didn’t know it was you, sir, you are free to go”

on a later stop, driver activates filter, chooses cat head by mistake
officer “Hey...wait a minute!

“this year, your tax filing will be free, WE PROMISE*
*unless it’s not”

“lets get started with your taxes”
“oops, it may not be free, go ahead and select the non free basic taxes because reasons”
“Uh Oh, we’re out of control, you need the premium super ultra tax version (only for non rich people)

“after reading comment on Gizmodo, IRS announces new tax on losses, says we are sorry we overlooked this before”

What does the Department do? States and school districts seem to be pretty much doing what they want. States are threatening schools accreditation if they don’t agree with their politics, teachers are underpaid and afraid to do their jobs