I guess today is cynical hipster day at Jalopnik.

i don’t know why people who get so pissy about spoilers even look at anything these days. Trailers spoil, news spoil, any form of human interaction and discussion spoils.

I just... I don’t get it. I’ve done ridiculous janky stuff. I road tripped a $1 junkyard Nissan Sentra 1000 miles. I used Mitsubishi parts and welder to make an ill-advised but very functional turbo setup on a 1.6 Miata. I have a 1977 Jaguar with a Chevy V8 in it. This is ridiculous and janky, but it’s ridiculous and…

Twitter and Instagram are both dumb. I deleted my Twitter back in 2014 and not once have I ever wanted it back.

Any comments on the “correct” amount of horsepower is a Kilauea-erupting, fire flames hot take from someone who willingly drives a Yugo.

Alain DeCadenet - Victory by Design

Jalopnik readers be like:

The stance and burnout bros. HTH.

Someone please help me decide just tell me who the bad guys are here.

And people eat it up as evidenced by whoever is clapping. “Fuck yea I’m seeing a wreck!”

Sounds like Mr. Kazemi can’t drive.

Had to meet that article quota by the end of the week, eh?

What runs forever? Because you are not getting a Model 3.

The Opels I’ve driven have all been unrelentingly dull, bordering on the criminally forgettable.

The only thing that could make this better is if it included a rotation of “deep” Lewis Hamilton Instagram captions.

The wheels on the Vanagon are too new.

Are there people who are against this idea (other than perhaps drivers and team staff)? What’s your argument?

This. I am beyond done with the moping and pissing and whining. People didn’t wallow in misery like this after fucking 9/11, for shit’s sake.

Depends on who you voted for. I voted Hillary and actually enjoyed this article, even if it’s not satirical. It’s a good balance to this site and all of the other Post-Gawker sites.