Felipe Massa

I had never heard of this oxygen thief until this article. I look forward to forgetting about his existence.

Surely you must know that Jalopnik is actually Ferrariisshitalopnik?

Wait, it’s not based on a Beetle?

Perhaps part of Harley’s issue is a range of motorcycles which weigh as much as a small moon, have barely enough power to pull the dick off a chocolate mouse, posess the dynamic prowess of a freshly killed trout and cost at least 20% more than their competitors.

The fact that this useless, harassing, fucknugget talent-vacuum still receives a salary from the British Broadcasting Corporation gets right on my tits.

Race-inspired? Oh how I chuckled.

Fuck me with a splintered gatepost, how monumentally boring must that race have been to have that little thing be classed as “dramatic”?

Sad but true. My Alfa 145 always needs to have the living shit thrashed out of it before going in for it’s inspection every two years. Clears things right up.

Crack Pipe because it’s a Beetle and I hate them.

The moment the wheels touched down, the Eurobeat intensified.

Amazing how you lot think this thing is too small. It looks like a small fucking moon on Italian roads.

Please stop giving space to oxygen thieves of this caliber.

What can possibly be left that Demonlopnik hasn’t told us already?

Fucking useless filthy diseasels.

$500 my left testicle.

I’m conflicted. A Ferrari SUV hurts me, deep inside. However it could mean that somebody will have shot Marchionne and I’m sort of OK with that.

A quick google seems to suggest it isn’t.

Aaaah, the slow news day shitpost. I’ve missed you!

Biggest?