Not having his shit together? People that are “depressed” aren’t losers that “don’t have their shit together”. It’s a disease. It’s not like people who contemplate suicide are walking around wearing a sign, or would show signs of this during a podcast. I speak from experience. Depression is a mother fucker. I…

At least no one probed Trumps gunshot wound with their grimy fingers until he died of sepsis. http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/dirty-painful-death-president-james-garfield/

As a black person in America, there will never be a shortage of people who are white who want to give me THEIR take on racism and how it doesn’t exist anymore, how they don’t see it and how they’d never be like that, and I just want to shoot all of them into the sun.

I was thinking more like this one:

Apparently Jayson Werth is not providing enough veteran leadership to this team. Disappointing.

Unless they brought him directly from a year long desert island sabbatical with no internet access, it’s hard to see how someone smart enough to have a 27 year stellar law career wasn’t smart enough to see it coming getting. Joining this administration is a career ender.

No, true patriots fly 5,000 square foot flags 24-7 at their gas stations or car lots. Rain or shine, until they get tattered by the wind.

At some point soon we’re getting a LOLAmerica header, right?

the Mets sent someone to his apartment to check on him, and whatever happened was enough to piss off the Mets

Edward Tufte is gonna rip them a new one

I thought he’d for sure be registered at Dread, Bath & Beyond.

I was going to say the same thing. My dogs sphincter is like a God damned cigar cutter. This guy clearly has never owned a dog (well, unless it was an English bulldog... Those have some poop butt issues)

Lighten up Francis.

The endless thankless miles of dark, miserable coal-face work between “idea” and “actual thing” is also the reason most small businesses fail, most novels are never finished, and most risottos burn.

Manny “Quien Es Mas” Machado

The funny thing is nearly anyone can take a DMZ tour and Panmunjom. Just Google it. When I was in the Air Force and was stationed in Korea it was mandatory to take that tour. I think the North Korean’s could sense my steely resolve as I ate my Cliff Bar and took pictures.

Whitetrash House.

Holy shit, an indefinite suspension?

Sometimes internet commenters try too hard. This would be one of those times.

if you took every scorned baseball player’s apology at face value, you’d conclude that it’s a shame that PEDs don’t enhance intelligence. It’s amazing how incredulous they all seem to be. Fuck that. Own it if only to not make yourself sound like a moron.