One of Chris Rock’s best lines was when he couldn’t believe that Marion Barry got reelected mayor of Washington D.C. despite using crack.

I have three full time employees and three contractors. I don’t know a blessed thing about processing payroll and taxes, so I HIRED A COMPANY TO DO IT FOR ME LEGALLY. AS ONE DOES IF ONE ISNT A DOUCHEBAG. This isn’t Hogwarts, for chrissakes. If one wants to be in compliance, it isn’t that difficult. It just costs…

The Supreme Court has the authority to sentence people to eternal damnation, right?

The father, the son, and the HOLY SHIT HOW DID HE WIN THE ELECTION

The Republican Congress of today is far, far less ethical than Nixon’s congress. It’s not even as ethical as Reagan’s congress. Reagan’s congress was too offended by Jeff Sessions’ racist comments to give him a judgeship. This congress is about to make him Attorney General.

Thanks for adopting - you saved the dog you adopted AND the dog that got its spot in the shelter instead of being euthanized. You should reward yourself. Here is a good way to do that - buy a nice dehydrator and make your own jerky. Its kind of a pain, but no worse than say, smoking a bunch of ribs. And with a…

They couldn’t reach agreeement on Hume’s first principles of the contents of the mind.

Skins fan here. I watched his magical rookie year and subsequent train wreck. Although an All-pro narcissist, the guy lacked even basic dropback skills and couldn’t read a defense. While skins are certainly capable of ruining players, Bobby three sticks was already in over his head.

I guess we could force these folks, football players and people who ride motorcycles without helmets forfeit their Medicare/Medicaid benefits for any future brain related issues. Then it becomes a decision that doesn’t affect the rest of us.

I’ll have you know, Reddit steals of their good stuff from me. All of it, every last joke.. I’m sick of their shit.

According to Donald Glover, Armenians are the black people of white people.

straight up sobbing? good lord. someone says this exact thing here every time a celebrity dies too. this is the most off-the-rails dramatic commentariat on earth

Jesus Ricky really? What were you high or something?

I went out, had the lobster bisque, we elected Trump and yadda, yadda, yadda, Я никогда не говорил по-английски снова.

Your president can eat my turds.

Trump has been sued for violating the fair housing act, cheated several cities and even several countries out of millions in property taxes (sometimes after his property renovations caused hundreds of thousands dollars worth of damages to the surrounding areas) bragged about his propensity to sexually assault any…

Crimea river.

While I think you anti-PC people (yes you didn’t say “PC” but you are saying the same things as anti-PC people) are silly overall, but even on that spectrum this is really dumb. Why the fuck wouldn’t you be worried about the feelings of suicidal people or the families of someone who just died?

Three guesses as to how you get those stronger laws.

I’m genuinely curious as to when the last law favorable to workers was passed. And no, not a Republican wet dream spun to sound like it benefits people, but an actual “they can’t fuck you like that no more” law.