Well, maybe if you had put a little more effort into winning the Revolutionary War, this wouldn’t have happened, old chap.

Sounds like your self-awareness is really holding you back from a career carrying water for the NFL.

Last Thursday I tweeted, “Mr. President, don’t forget Rex Tillerson called you a fucking moron.” Results!

Reading how their owner Ed Glazer (or more appropriately, guy who only got rich due to his dad) hosted a fundraiser for Trump last night, it makes this even sweeter.

“This should be anathema to everything America says it holds dear.”

Funny they should mention that- Nigerian immigrants to the US actually have a higher median income than native born whites.

Nothing screams “I belong to a more intelligent race” like using your own picture on the barely-pseudonymous Twitter account you use to post white nationalist nonsense.

A conspiracy theory that depends on so many people buying in, and so many moving pieces isn’t likely. Sure the Malik Scott fight was sketchy, but the theory you lay out depends on Ortiz deliberately getting caught using PEDs to save Wilder the embarrassment of having to fight him (instead of just feigning an injury),…

It’s almost as if Trump is a liar and just says crazy shit all the time but people still report his words as fact.

Is making me side with LaVar Ball an impeachable offense? Because it should be, goddammit.

Exactly! Haven’t we learned yet that Trump takes no responsibility for anything he says and changes his mind every minute.

You mean almost as loud as the “SOCCER IS FOR DUMB PUSSIES LET ME WATCH FOOTBALL DURRR” crowd? No one cares, go fly a kite.

Things that are likely to kill Trump should he ever run into an active shooter situation:

True story: At some point after his presidency, Taft was on vacation at a ranch somewhere in the West, cut off from most forms of communication, and a rumor began to circulate that he had died. One of his colleagues sent a telegraph to the ranch where Taft was staying to make sure it wasn’t true. Taft sent a telegraph…

Gotta think that was 2016.

I had to check a couple times to make sure this wasn’t an Onion article.

Even Mike Pence had to sit down in the middle of that singing of the anthem.

The greatest investigative journalism of our era, Ashley Feinberg, found a couple more Extremely Normal father son interactions

I don’t know. I don’t think it’s that weird. I do it all the time. Sure, some people think it’s weird but not everyone is a dog person.