^ every Puff Daddy feature

Im here as a member of the beyhive making sure nobody fixes their mouth to start some shit

And then Khaled reached out to Jay like “Yo ... you gotta do something nice for Future, man. He’s really down about that line. Maybe take him to Chuck E. Cheese’s or something.”

If Beyonce actually did a song called “Balenciaga crawfish”, I’d probably eat my phone.

Your hyper accurate impression of Beyonce, solely in print, is the reason I am living right now.

Beyonce seems to be getting very salty lately. I am here to enjoy it;)

After that feature on ‘King’s Dead,’ nobody should be handing out charity verses to Future.

Oh man! Praying to baby Jesus that it’s not a sincere shot. I really need a Tiffany and Beyoncé friendship to happen.

Social worker here. You’d be surprised how shitty state agencies run when it involves the health and welfare of children. I would encourage you to look up Danieal Kelly. One of the most extreme cases of neglect I’ve read about. I seriously reconsidered working with kids after reading about the case. Also, you’ll going…

That’s Extremely Worrying: The US School System

My roommate is an ex-Scientologist. Trust me, they would DEFINITELY stoop this low to smear their perceived enemies. They are PURE EVIL.

Yeah, this is a pretty...unique situation.

They build entire websites making false accusations against former member who speak out about them. Seizing the moment of Women vs. Hollywood in this case against Haggis surprises literally no one who pays attention to CoS and their misdeeds.

This was a rollercoaster.

There’s certainly POTENTIAL for Amazon to be green, sure - but today they sent me a four pack of pens in an 8" x 11" x 3" box. So, they’re not quite there.

You get a star for teaching me a new way to measure temperature

LABIA-SEALING.

Why haven’t they made outlet malls like indoor malls here in MN? That is one thing I genuinely don’t understand. I want to check out the new outlet mall in Eagan, but not when it’s labia-sealing cold.

The worst thing about that bullshit is that old guys don’t suddenly start touching titties when they get past a certain age. I’m pretty sure that old Titty Toucher was grabbing boobs not long after he got his first hard on as an adolescent. Literally decades of titty-touching.

I think in this case, it’s because they’re French. It reminds me of this piece by Paulina Porizkova about how America made her a feminist. To quote: