Not bad. Not bad at all.

Time to bring back this gem:

My sentiments exactly.

Nothing says “Merry Christmas, you pig” like giving gifts of organizational products!

I’m barely enough of a wrencher to qualify as a shade tree mechanic, but I usually do most of my own work on my 2002 Accent. I’ve replaced things like rusted exhaust pipes, worn front axles, busted evap canister, worn front brakes, etc. without too much effort. But by FAR the worst was the rear drum brakes. I’d…

To make it more grounded to the ground, obviously.

Nothing really matters, to me.

What? No The Crow? It takes place across two Halloweens (“Devil’s Night”)! Is that gasoline I smell? Your local Family Video should have it. 

You could also add a Y connector to the pipe and run a second hose to the seat of your pants to absorb farts simultaneously. This should be on Lifehacker.

I’m in the “not a good guy” camp when it comes to Joe Buck. Storytime!

The “S” is for “sucks.”

Seventeen Russians get out of a car. Seventeen cigarettes light up.

I didn’t realize meerkats used Kinja.

Three buddies and I were placed into a campus apartment with a randomly assigned roommate. Except, once we arrived, we discovered that he (let’s call him “Ted”) wasn’t moving in with us...oh no, we were moving in with him. Ted had occupied the apartment for the past three years while trying to figure out which major…

HIS. PANTS. ARE ON FIIIIIIIIIRRRREEEEEEEE!!!

But really, if they just sat down and thought it over, they’d realize they are more alike than different. It could be the beginning of a new, super annoying relationship. Horrible accents for everyone!

It was probably the time I decided to buy a motorcycle and get my motorcycle license (yes, in that order) without saying anything about it to my girlfriend first, who, incidentally, hated motorcycles.