Seventeen Russians get out of a car. Seventeen cigarettes light up.

To be fair, he was vaccinating them against cat scratch fever.

I didn’t realize meerkats used Kinja.

Three buddies and I were placed into a campus apartment with a randomly assigned roommate. Except, once we arrived, we discovered that he (let’s call him “Ted”) wasn’t moving in with us...oh no, we were moving in with him. Ted had occupied the apartment for the past three years while trying to figure out which major…

HIS. PANTS. ARE ON FIIIIIIIIIRRRREEEEEEEE!!!

But really, if they just sat down and thought it over, they’d realize they are more alike than different. It could be the beginning of a new, super annoying relationship. Horrible accents for everyone!

Hubris?

It was probably the time I decided to buy a motorcycle and get my motorcycle license (yes, in that order) without saying anything about it to my girlfriend first, who, incidentally, hated motorcycles.

Fair enough. I personally prefer a fresh, cold soda pop at the end of a long day. Carry on!

Who are you and why do you care so much about the comments from random people on the internet? Your hands must be sore from all the hand-wringing.