That he tried to defend Roy Moore on preying on teenage girls is the least shocking factoid about this guy.

These guys are always projecting.

I also assume your jaw falls to the floor, your tongue rolls out like a carpet, and your eyes bug out of your head while you go A-OOO-GA!

Seriously, he might as well subtitled that whole paragraph with “I’M AN INCEL, OKAY??”

Lol incel movie reviewers.

Yeah, that’s pretty uncanny.

Clearly you have to wonder how this guy failed to get the memo about what to watch if you’re looking to be aroused. It’s almost like he failed to recognize that there’s an entire industry of people dedicated to arousing him and instead sought this arousal from a bunch of people who are only tangentially interested in…

Man. This guy should Get A Life.

But his picture has “lies” crossed out, so I know I am dealing with someone who would never lie!

I’ll bet money this guy says some variation of “She’s too ugly to be raped” in reaction to at least 70% of sexual assault allegations.

Bases his movie review on the perceived attractiveness of a woman who has never interacted with him, does not use his face for his Twitter pic. Sounds about right

I was gonna go see that movie, but then i found out some random dude on breitbart isn’t attracted to Brie Larson, so i gave it a pass

This movie sure makes rightie incels shit themselves, huh?

Remember when Megan Fox was criticized for having toe thumbs? This seems to be the next idiotic iteration.

The very first paragraph:

Chris Elliot has a younger more horrible brother?

“She has no ha-cha-cha,” I yell about a woman, like a normal human in 2019. “No odey-oh-do, no zippidy-do-dah, nothing!”

Continuing the 100% unbroken streak of people with the word “Truth” somewhere in their Internet handle being completely full of gross shit.

The first thing I look for in a lady is her ha-cha-cha. Also, this guy has some very specific examples here that I think would line up pretty well to his PornHub search history. 

I know when I bring women home, I investigate the circumference of her toes in relation to her body fat percentages. If they don’t match up exactly to my specifications, NO DEAL!