"You are disappointed, expecting something better than what you got. We know the feeling."

Roger Goodell: Muahahahaaaa.......!

I have it on good authority from a source that the reason he didn't fly to New England is because at the airport, every time the TSA agent tried to pat him down he fell down to the ground backwards.

That was Berry wrong(ed).

All is right again. I hated the idea of someone being victimized by an institution.

By that I mean I'm impressed he owned a car.

Cutler. Marshall. Fox. Are the Bears just sitting on the Broncos curb, waiting for their next used, unwanted sofa to get dragged out?

Barf.

Mayor Dog is more qualified than many elected to Congress, and his napping all day is probably just as effective. Get that doggie to Washington! Mayor Dog / Grumpy Cat 2020?

Death by Hippo.

His first three college games, ever. Against teams ranked #11, #1, and #2. In the divisional championship game, the Sugar Bowl, and the National Championship.

"I plan to learn as much as I can about how to sit comfortably for countless hours, watching and analyzing and thinking about what others are doing. It will be great preparation for my career as a movie critic. Wait, you thought this was a good idea for my NFL career? What the hell, are you fucking stupid?"

"I call it the Undecision."

Emmit Smith: [nods vigorously in agreement].

He does, albeit inadvertently, make a very good argument for going back to school.

That arm motion is called The Heliflopter

I want him to pull a Derek Fisher and immediately become a head coach. Preferably of the Knicks.

You don't mess with a perfect Storm.

That's how I spent all of junior high.