The man in the orange tie only agreed because he was afraid of further agitating the rabid, cranky zebra to his left.

But where is his non-girlfriend with the huge rack we can ogle with the comforting knowledge his precious chastity is not in danger?

Could This Be The Most Blatant Dive In Soccer History?

says former NFL lineman Kyle Turley . . . "I mean, where do these people come from?

Tim Tebow Leads The League In Something, For The First And Last Time

In related boycott news, I'm holding Rutgers accountable for the sins of the Jersey Shore cast.

If cocaine could write, the result would read like a david Clemmens pm.

I am pretty disturbed at the fact that today I took off a day at work to enjoy a game with my kids at your ballpark.

Can u forgive him?

seven of them have been charged with underage possession of alcohol.

I think the article says he went out Friday night and another customer bought the bottle for James.

@Armen Tamzarian: You know, every autumn, all autumn, I watch college football, yet every year I've heard of about 10 of the players drafted. I don't think I have brain damage.

@HockeyMountain: Those expressions are as 8-bit as your avatar.

Predictably, my littler temper tantrum about the Sarah Silverman chat did not escape her notice.

we've managed to piss off . . . PMKBNC.

It's easy enough to find a gay right fielder

@MarkKelsosMigraine: And waste ammunition? Amateur.

@formerly Chief Wahoo: Yeah, 'cause if you want to see that Browns pick you have to set your alarm a little extra early.

@Gamboa Constrictor: I see, although I'd rather not. Not that Ben cares whether I actually want to see, which I guess is why he has six games to contemplate a change in color.

@Gamboa Constrictor: What's the point of a camouflage tattoo?