Something tells me the silence at marriage counseling today is going to be particularly uncomfortable.

Weird, a website posting explicit text messages from the most recognizable athlete in the world to a porn star is receiving an unusually high volume of traffic.

@DirkToberFest: +1

Alright, with my masters in taxation complete, I'll now have every future March and April free of any obligations . . . oh, dear God, what have I done?

On the bright side, with that kind of prioritization, James probably won't have to worry about any stuffy law firm interfering with his scheduled drinking time in the future.

Promotional photo of Christian Laettner playing Freddie Prinze, Jr. in the "making of" documentary of Prinze's dramatization of "the shot."

We apologize again for giving this awful woman a platform

Leader Of Cock-Punchers And Alleged Burglars

"Normally crimes involving duct tape or coercion can be covered up with candy and puppies, but that ain't gonna fly here."

I prefer Bang the Ghanaian Quickly.

Have you seen the size of British cars these days? You could hit an elephant and not realize it!

He must have escaped from USC.

@DoktorFunkenstein: Renderofveils?

Socialists are hipocrits

@The_International_Poise_Conspi...: I conceded. I know when I'm beat.

Only two comments and I manage to post something completely fucking redundant. Texas should execute me.

Jerry Wainwright just reviewed the "Principal Duties and Responsibilities," noted they do not include "Be competitive in Big East," and resubmitted his updated resume.

Since MTO is good enough to capitalize the important parts you can get the message and tone of the piece without the tedium of reading an entire 2 and 1/3 paragraphs: MORE DETAILS INHERENTLY RELIABLE INTOXICATED URINATED DAYUMMMMM!!! MESS!!!

Every time I come home alone, I'm waiting for him to jump out from behind a door.

Two things you don't know about this picture: (1) she's referring to Greg Oden; and (2) she's 27' tall.