In addition to the obvious disadvantages of competing against professional bird handlers, several of Tyson's pigeons also have to overcome the further handicap of racing without the benefit of their heads.

@MattinglysSideburns: And further alas, when Dr. Philobosian's son presented his to the Turks it didn't do much good.

If they test for breast enhancers Germany's seen the last of James Toney.

advice for a n a]naspirteing writer?????

. . .she was standing by the window, gazing out at the lake, wearing one of his button-down shirts.

@Hatey McLife: Maybe he was just trying to figure out what to do with all of his empty whiskey barrels: A small-space landlubber can recreate that serenity in a whiskey barrel or clay pot with a watertight liner.

Anyone who follows college basketball closely during the season could do [Joe Lunardi's] job.

Good thing he's got two coconuts because there's a 60% chance he misses with the first.

I wonder if Walsh gets frustrated at the number of emails he gets from children all over the world informing him how good they've been during the past year and telling him what they'd like for Christmas.

@Karlifornia: I think that fight was fought, and I think I know who lost.

The bad blood!

Ari Fleischer Tapped By Tiger Woods To Do Job He's Not Very Good At

Ari Fleischer Tapped By Tiger Woods To Do Job He's Not Very Good At

Shape up, Eva, or WALL-E's gonna shack up with Failbette.

Drew Magary wondered out loud if any of our readers would really do porn if offered.

Why do Beadle's cries for help go unanswered?

Relax the pitcher, make them feel at ease, get them thinking about steak.

. . . asked if I'd be willing to rub one out on camera for a G.

@AzureTexan: +1

Tennessee Guy: We have a national football team, I forget what they call them, whatever it is, and the Titans's doing great . . .