@ClintonPortishead: Vitali's Cock Blocks Itself

Tillman pleaded guilty Monday to sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl who was babysitting his two children.

I slathered myself in #fiestabowlpheromones, i.e. Tostitos Creamy Spinach Dip, in hopes a cheerleader might throw herself at me, but instead the Blue Thunder Marching Band dancers nearly tore me apart like a pack of wild hyenas.

@Lionel Osbourne: He tried:

@AzureTexan: Just admit it; I completely stumped you.

@AzureTexan: It was Tree Rollins, mocking Williams' "shot-blocking" ability.

Not to be outdone, Jason Williams promptly shot a taxi driver while juggling pistols.

@Phintastic: I ended up arguing with people insisting he just injured his face in a fireworks accident.

@Steve U: And do try to stick around. Who doesn't like a pot-smoking, lecturing American Curl?

@Steve U: It matters less, to me anyway, what the internet monitoring policy is than what the internet blocking policy is. My job watches everything we do, yet blocks nothing, because they like to watch. And maybe they're building my "for cause" file, I don't know.

The fights!and/orboobs! tag should really be used to feature sad, whimsical things that feature fights and or boobs.

. . . clueless about the basics of federalism . . .

Of course, there are gun-toting thugs in all walks of American life.

Charles Davenport wants to know where this kid was 80 years ago.

@FavreFAIL: You leave Lawton Chiles out of this!

She's also announced that just as soon as her recent divorce is finalized, she's planning to get married again ... to her soon-to-be ex-husband.

And if David Lee is reading this, you have reason to be very, very nervous.

This has completely overshadowed news that Ron Artest placed three table legs next to Luke Walton's locker over his belief that Bill snuck into the locker room after practice one evening and stole his clozapine.

"After a promising 6-0 start the Denver Broncos plummeted faster than United Airlines Flight 93 over Pennsylvania."

@AzureTexan: And sitting through it has been as pleasant as Eli Roth's Hostel.