This week, We Hate Movies dares itself to top that with Teen Witch! Please, enjoy the ridiculous musical numbers, Zelda Rubinstein's frog sex dungeon, and feral cake-eating kid noises.

He could be remembering the Lev Gleason Publications Daredevil, an unrelated character of the same name from the Golden Age.

I am unreasonably excited about a Bob Gunton Random Roles.

Well, this does explain why such a seemingly-saintly character hooked up with Dr. Crazy, MD.

How does Full Moon Pictures get away with it?

But if they do Teen Witch, what could they possibly do for their subsequent episode? They can give it all they can, but they'll never top that.

I think tonight's episode, judging by the hints Jupin's been dropping on Twitter, is Loverboy. I suspect they won't be lovin' every minute of it.

It turns out the secret to longevity is tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

Two, and then a third guy ate it. It's canon!

Joan Allen has dick prosopagnosia. It's her secret shame.

No Brimley, but in the opening scene Arnold fights a certain Danish actor who may or may not be Secundus.

So…wait, "Lick my bunghole, motherfucker" is an actual line from that Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3 remake? Jeezy creezy. That is egregiously terrible, and I say this as a man who just watched and enjoyed a movie in which Nicolas Cage loudly invokes Zeus' butthole.

Truly, it was an age of teal.

I seem to recall Madsen mentioning in another interview that he was actually really happy with Species…Species 2, uh, not so much.

It's a We Love Movies episode, though, and unless the ghost of Roger Ebert is guest-hosting, nobody loves Knowing.

This week, We Hate Movies is judge, jury, and executioner for The Juror - and the verdict is that it sucks. It's a pretty generic legal thriller that still manages to squeeze in box puns, dragon penises, and a surprising amount of Guatemala. Also: the gang coins the term "deus ex mafia", which I am definitely going to…

He talks to ants. It's his thing.

So…are Appalachian hillbillies streaming into Chicago, or were they circa 1989?

That's probably a candidate for the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza.

This week, We Hate Movies is out for backwoods justice in Next of Kin! There's a whole lot of miscasting going on - whether it's Liam Neeson as a hillbilly, Ben Stiller as a mafioso, or Adam Baldwin as someone we want to see in a movie. Christ, that guy. Only Patrick Swayze and his multiple ponytails seem like they're…