I'm not too proud to admit that I tear up whenever I watch the Carousel pitch.

This week, We Hate Movies gets twisted with 2004's Twisted! Ashley Judd gets roofied, Steven Sajdak cannot Google Leland Orser, and also there are seals. Plus: fuck you, Delmarco!

Nothing beats Steve Sajdak's poetry-slam reading of the lyrics to Deepest Bluest.

This week, We Hate Movies is caught in a Moontrap! Walter Koenig gets it with both barrels in this one, whether it be for his sub-Shatnerian hairpiece, his weirdly un-accented voice, or his tiny, tiny body. This one has the Martin Cinemax III seal of approval, folks.

He talks about it in his Random Roles, which is pretty great.

Hyde was in the Thunderbolts during the Jeff Parker/Kev Walker/Declan Shalvey years, and he was awesome.

I want a Calvin Zabo And His RV Full Of Freaks spinoff, and I want it now.

This week, We Hate Movies is transfixed by Fatal Beauty - well, the fatal beauty of Sam Elliot's glorious man-mane. The rest of the movie, not so much, despite Brad Dourif and his glass-eating sidekick, Harris Yulin's ass, and the not-so-vague drug trade. Maybe they were just disappointed about that deleted Whoopi…

They just thought it was a reference to Kevin Spacey's acting.

The Kree are noted space jerks.

He's so good at shifting from ridiculous goofball to terrifying maniac and making it seem like one cohesive character.

She's been in two WHM movies, but with a combined screentime of like thirty seconds - Bordello of Blood and Star Trek: Nemesis.

It's like four generations of Gilmore Girls.

It does hold the distinction of being the Whoopi Goldberg movie that was so bad, even Whoopi Goldberg didn't want to be in it.

Theodore Rex seems like a good bet. Honestly, though, it could be a good three-quarters of her filmography. Monkeybone? Fatal Beauty? Jumpin' Jack Flash?

Or Mick Fleetwood as an unrecognisable fishman on TNG.

Operation: Osiris.

This is a surprisingly decent cast for such a crummy-looking movie.

Yeah, that mid-episode Bridges rant was amazing. "I was the Dude, goddammit!"

I was going to suggest Cuba Gooding Jr. here, but he waited a couple years before transitioning to a crap-based career.