"A climactic walrus battle set to Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” is so patently stupid that viewers can practically hear Smith and Mosier cracking themselves up in the background."

Oh hey. Small internet.

Given my last name, I have a wealth of choices, but I think I'd go with Werewolves of London.

If nothing else, this movie has a great nonsensical giallo title.

Dillon, you son of a bitch!

Speaking of the Maysles, didn't Grey Gardens start out as a general thing on Jackie Kennedy's family before it became about Big and Little Edie?

I'm not not saying it.

As much as I kind of want to hate Eli Roth, he did give us the Thanksgiving trailer.

Bitch, I got ants all over me!

He knocks her out at the end, which surprised me, because I thought we were gonna get the nigh-obligatory "female sidekick vs. lady henchman" fight.

Crazy. I just watched this last night, and boom, here's this article. I enjoyed it, for all its shameless Die Hard ripoffery. I think they even play the exact same music sting when the head villain plummets to his doom - which is noticeable, as the rest of the Passenger 57 score sounds like it's about to transition…

We always have!

I'm really happy to see Clive Owen in something good for the first time since…good lord, Shoot 'Em Up?

He only sets that plan in motion after his plan to have the (apparently unbabysat) children of Gotham kidnapped by carnies failed, and he only did that after his plan to become mayor failed! Also I think there was a…reverse power plant or something?

Jones has a semi-decent Harvey Dent moment right at the end of Forever - "You're right, Bruce. Emotion is always the enemy of true justice. Thank you, you've always been a good friend". Unfortunately, it's his only such moment, and it's right before Batman murders him.

Batman Returns is the worst movie I love. There are like five different evil plots, Danny DeVito is almost unwatchably gross, Batman is barely in it, and some of the dialogue is jaw-droppingly atrocious. I still watch it every time I come across it on TV, though. God knows why.

Well, no sense in reiterating your premise if you haven't even…iterated it yet.

Also, Keith David narration. Keith David is the best.

"Whatever, fuck you guys and your movie deal! We're going bowling with the Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad!"

Pepper would be rendered into quivering goop before she could kick her heels off.