He is expert.
Hey, Stormare might just be there to fix her cable.

SCREW YOU, BENNY!

Plus he was also kind of a perv.

I got a ten-spot that says Gorilla Mummy covers the spread against Scorpo-Bees.

I had to go with my little sister, honest.
I totally saw that live Sailor Moon show at the CNE when I was a kid. I guess that was her?

And I say mooooltipass.

I thought Joy Ride was pretty enjoyable.

Think of it like the nuclear-bomb-worshipping cult in Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

I don't get it.
None of these guys are Peter Mansbridge.

Babies!
They're baaaabies!

I am going to preemptively defend perennial worst-song-ever finalist Timothy, because it is a) catchy, and b) about eating a dude.

Koechner is awesome…
…but I always get him confused with the guy who played Marge Gunderson's husband.

I dunno, Col. I keep calling that guy and getting the machine.

Rockford Files tried it…
..with Gabby & Gandy (with Isaac Hayes and Lou Gossett Jr.). I think the aborted pilot got aired as a Rockford Files episode.

But what of Barbara Carrera?

If the bear was all gross and scabby, it's Prophecy.

Joseph Mazzello
Holy crap, that was the kid from Jurassic Park?

I wanna know if that "cutting the garlic with a razorblade" thing from the prison scene in Goodfellas actually works.

The Julianne Moore one was The Forgotten, which was actually pretty creepy until the twist, which suuuucked.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.
In one of my English classes, the professor told us that Crash was supposed to be on the curriculum, but he wasn't going to have us read it because "the world is a miserable enough place already".