Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

Have you ever considered introducing yourself over the phone as “Sargent, Jordan?”

I think that’s actually how they make the F-350 King Ranch Edition.

I think it’s kind of sad how he sidelined his own best judgment in deference to a figure of authority, an authority whose own judgment is not to be questioned, and it cost him his own better interests while only furthering the narrow interests of the organization that authority represents.

Either that, or he terrorizes the city and kindly requests breakfast be served past 11:30.

Boy, I haven’t seen this level of voting against one’s own interests since...nevermind.

“6-beers? You talking about pre-tailgating?”

*Roger Goodell furiously writes new rule banning the practice in the NFL*

In Trump’s America, Thunder’s afraid of dogs.

“I said show them a scrum! A SCRUM!”

Unfortunately, few were swayed by his offer of free haircut coupons.

I woke up at 3 am last night and had a few handfuls of soil then went back to bed and had awful nightmares.

Fuck yeah I’ll remember Andre Johnson. He seems to me like the guy, in like ten or fifteen years, when most kids have stopped playing football and the ratings have gone off a cliff and everyone’s remembering what it used to be like in the NFL’s glory days and wondering how we ever tolerated such bloodsport on such a…

“Don’t like my dances? Stop me.” Cam says.

/gets traded to the Detroit Ligers

That’s like lumping “The Notebook” and “Anal Slutz Vol 8" together under “Romances.”

...it seems weird that a mortgage company’s logo is an upside-down house

Blair Walsh is masturbating to this game right now, filled with self-loathing.