“So I gotta kill Astarion, stuff him in a jar, jam it into the ass of the shapeshifted Ox, and then kill the Ox and stuff them into a different jar, then throw it into the bottomless pit into the Underdark after killing the spider miniboss... climb down the ladder and then recite the “I’m Sorry” song from Calvin &…

That girl in the middle has the darkest, most oblong face I’ve ever seen.  

Ha, jokes on (someone) - there hasn’t been a Wonder Woman 2* yet!

IT IS TIME, Death said.

Fans: “We want to see Spider-man movies where he fights his most famous villains from the comics!”

Horses are for closers! - Diablo Glen Ross

Isn’t that Mario bent over kneeling shooting Sonic out of his ass in the first image?

I’m curious on the use of “perf”. I get that it is shortening perfect but, why not just write perfect? You’ve already committed to half the word’s length, are you really saving anything by not including the 3 remaining letters? I’m sure I’ll be accused of being “old” or whatever but that kind of slang shortening seems…

Fuck these god awful, canned “fan reactions.” I hate this trend more than gender reveals.

Do you guys need to fill like a quota of things you need to complain about each week?

And this article is how I know Kenneth Shepard is not actually old enough to remember MK2 in arcades. 

You’re on Kotaku and only now you have serious questions about the authors journalistic integrity? Are you new here?

Can I say, at this point, that Kotaku can go fuck itself? Proper fuck itself?

If I tried to burn the wrong fucking house down I'd be pretty quiet about it too. Well maybe not going that far but fanned the flames for sure.

When my dad was a teenager in the late 1950s, he used to work as a dishwasher at a Mexican restaurant that was near the local cemetery. To get to work, he could either walk the long way around the cemetery, which was twice as far, or cut straight through it. More often than not, he’d opt to go through the cemetery.

A Single Flower

This easily.

Exactly, adults who enjoy anything outside of their designated age range is frankly weird and creepy.

He Jied Joing what he Joved. Jutting J’s in Jlaces they Jon’t Jelong