Good for frenemies so you know when to stop talking about them behind their backs.

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS SISTER WIVES MADNESS?!

True story- some years ago, I awoke to my cat staring at me with the exact same look of impending wanton destruction as the cat above. I was waking up from a binge, so I was spooked enough to decamp to Bogota for a month.

We could cannonize him, ya know? Shoot him out of a cannon. It’s more cost effective.

My only complaint about NASA’s discovery is that they didn’t also find water on California while they were at it. Buncha assholes.

Can we send Limbaugh to Mars to double check?

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.