I used to work at ModCloth, and this is EXACTLY what happened there, minus a book deal for the founder. Almost word for word.

Shit happens when you forget to call.

Okay, I won’t tell you it’s him.

Um, not for nothing, but both of those dudes are white and identify as such. So, yeah. Cultural Appropriators? Sure. Believes in transracial bullshit? Probably not.

I can’t stop thinking of the movie Soul Man. Comedy Central played it over and over again in lieu of decent programming, and now I just see this whenever the story comes up:

So wait, can ghost semen get you pregnant? You deliver the baby and it calls the draping “Mom”?

Using the term ‘transracial’ for this is super annoying, because the term ALREADY means something and it’s not what it’s being used for here. I’ve come across it in regards to transracial adoptions, which refers to when a child is adopted into a family of a different race. This is actually a really important issue for…

I am totally identifying as 6ft 5” from now on.

It wasn’t Rachel, it was Monica!!!

Bleached buttholes weird me out.

Since I was 5 I’ve identified as the Batman. It doesn’t matter that I’m a 30 something black male. People should respect my identity and address me as Batman.

I see myself as transcorporeal. This physical form is just an affectation of biological circumstance. I really identify as a ghost.

don’t give any ideas to TLC

She is dancing around to the point of incoherence. Very little of what she said made any sense.

I like can’t finish watching this because the smirk is killing me

I forgot who made the comment about how she would address the fake dad, by saying he was a father figure to her, but you called it.

God. Okay, I’m done. What ever happened to that high risk pregnant woman who disappeared/ran away right before her c-section? Is the baby okay? Is she okay? Not saying I want the press digging through her garbage or taking photos of her 24/7, but it would be nice to know if that had a happy ending.

Why hasn’t it occurred to these people that there are all sorts of things they could plant on their lawns that don’t require that much water.

As I’ve said before, I make up pseudonyms when people don’t specify, because most people want them but forget to ask. If you’d like me to change it to your actual name, e-mail me about it and I’d be happy to.

I made Behind Closed Ovens! Big Day! But...that asshole former brother in law belonged to me, not “Dana Torrance”, whoever that is.