Precisely. Women are penalized for being direct just as much as we're penalized for being passive. The problem isn't us. That study shows that men are fully capable of understanding nonverbal communication; some men choose not to employ that understanding when the situation might benefit them.

Yep. Nonverbal communication is a thing! It's real! Men do it too! And women are heavily penalized for being direct! I'm sorry you went through that. I wish all the other asshats commenting around us would listen to stories like yours rather than foolishly bleating about how women just need to communicate however…

No, it's an argument for people to treat ambiguous signals as a "no", not a "yes", until they clarify.

Did you read anything I linked to? The study was pretty interesting. The focus group members could clearly understand body language in some situations, e.g, when a cat doesn't want to be petted. They described the nonverbal language THEY WOULD USE to tell a girl they weren't in the mood. And then they proceeded to…

a) Making out is just, well, making out. It does not mean someone wants sex, and the OP should not be blamed for sending some kind of message. Making out with someone presumably sends the message that you want to be making out right now, but nothing more. Anything else the guy interpreted from that is his own damn…

To everyone saying some variant of "Why doesn't she just be direct and tell him to leave right away?"

About the body language not being obvious... I'm just going to leave this here:

Wish Klemin had sent this to all the Republicans who deny that the wage gap exists. Shoot. This could have been an educational tool instead of some tool's idea of a joke.

I love the idea of a PhD party. Might have to steal that in a few years (assuming I finish...)

Close, but not quite. Guy goes out the front door, clothes go out a window on the other side of the building.

Ruined? The falsely accused figures weren't in the "jailed" section, presumably because they weren't jailed. So it's ridiculous for them to even cry about those men being ruined. They're not.

That's why I want my engagement ring to be made with lentils, and then I'll wear a large sign around my neck that says "This is not a diamond. This is an organically grown, conflict-free lentil."

You know what's funny? If you'd set aside the bitterness, you'd find that many feminists want exactly what you want: for men and women to be treated equally re: combat positions. This really is something where we can work together.

Yes, your reply was fantastic and hopefully will open someone's eyes. Just wanted to share in case sincerely awful comments demoralize you as much as they do me.

"Traditional" = bingo. I said white because American leaves out all the Americans who aren't white and, let's be honest, probably includes all the immigrants who are white. But "traditional" seems even more appropriate because the Republicans would probably prefer it if it only protected married church-going mothers…

You're probably right. As sad and embarrassing as it is to admit, if it were the "Violence against heterosexual white women act" (in effect but not actually titled that, because overt racism draws too much attention), they might have reached some sort of compromise.

I think PS9 was being sarcastic, due to the (TM) and "Wow. People actually go through the world thinking like that...". The first few lines of their comment made my blood pressure rise, until I saw those parts. If they weren't actually joking, I'm going to stick my fingers in my ears and go "LALALA" because I really…

You do realize that many of those insurance-related regulations were about blocking private insurers from providing coverage for abortion, right? Private insurers. Like the insurance you pay for with your own money or your employer's contribution (which, as part of your compensation package, can also be considered…

Hah. John Scalzi has so much feminist/how not to be a creeper/privilege 101 stuff on his blog. It would have been too good to be true if your coffee shop creeper had looked the author up instead of rolling his eyes.

No, you don't get it. Go read this: http://www.theferrett.com/ferrettworks/2012/08/can-i-buy-you-a-coffee/