Can we get a Hall of Fame slot for TEAM Flakes? I ate those orange-boxed, Nabisco-ripoff-of-wheaties BY THE TON when I was a kid.

Well, her boobs are somewhat internet famous, anyway.Also, Giselle might be the most mediocre-looking supermodel athlete WAG of all-time. But at least she gets to bang Tom Brady - I hope in the head, with a large paella pan, and frequently.

I've never spanked, swatted, or struck either of my kids, but the instant they act like assholes in any public venue (restaurants, particularly) - it's out to the car and there we stay. No second chances. Mom'll have them box up whatever food we didn't finish.

Careful with the mortgage bit, buster. There's a glut of pretty moderate homes in a lot of markets that were affordable on a 15-year ten years ago, and then went into foreclosure when banks couldn't work out longer terms (20 or 30) on refis when homeowners lost jobs or otherwise had incomes reduced. Granted, it took…

Doesn't anyone set aside the rough equivlaent of a 72-month, monthly car payment every month? For me, this equates to roughly 7% of my NET income (over time), in a MMA that's appreciating - so every six years or thereabouts I bring in a check and outright purchase a low-mileage lease return. The only guy at the…

Well, someone has to be king - even though I thought of three or four who should ascend to the throne in front of Izzo before I even read the comments.

Ho. Lee. Shit.

Was it the $45 machined aluminum pens that pushed you over? I'm trying to think of the douche-iest item in this bag - besides the fucking retro Zippo lighter. Pretty much every antique store in the known universe has at least one of the real-deal Blaisdell-Zippo lighters made between 1935-1945 in some little locked…

He LOVES smoothies - or, as he named them when he arrived here, "smothies". This kid's Twitter is epic: "First Family in the history of Milwaukee to arrive at WalMart in a limo!" and shit like that. It's gold!

Ah - I received one of these as a birthday gift, and aside from being aesthetically mediocre, they do in fact say 'Bro' on the side.

GOD DAMMIT.

With no statistical downturn in results as a function of your playing skill and still no tryout considerations after week 1 last season, you remarked that this was, to your way of thinking, about money.

How does one say, 'Douchenuggets', in Russian?

Gabe Kaplan is the exception to about 25 of the top reasons I hate humanity, which is pretty much what makes Gabe Kaplan the only somewhat famous person about which I regularly say, "Yeah, I met him once."

Statistically, every 'pro' poker player I've ever met is an enormous douche, with one exception:

What were we expecting? She backed into her spot on the team and has a history of choking on the big stage, right?

Ugh. This shit hits the media so fast that Rubbish, Jr. noticed one of those "Drink Milk" posters featuring Ray Rice, on the wall in the hallway at his school yesterday and asked, "How long you think it'll be before THAT poster is taken down, Dad?"

What's 'nigga'? I mean, what part of speech? Adverb? Gerund? Interjection?

Legends are made of Kym Kartrashian and Lady Gag, now? FUUUCK YOU, NBC.

Yes - and I see what you did there.