My guess for why he gets into chairs that way—and my hypothesis comes from my own personal habit: it's his only opportunity while suited up to unstick his balls from his thighs.

I don't have the means to execute it, but please—PLEASE—somebody put the crew's impact-bracing spasms onto a continuous loop and also overdub it with a ridiculous dance beat.

No need for disclaimers to "play it safe" when all you need to do is delete people's comments if they upset you.

With all the homework that the Gawker affiliates are usually good with, I'm surprised that you guys thought the ping pong video was actually legit.

"I do it all just because I personally find it entertaining," Jesse said. "Got to do something to keep the boredom away."

...because what else could anybody possibly do to keep themselves from getting bored?

Small ears makes him look like Tasmanian Devil Man.

Keep your cutlery conveniently within reach by stuffing all your knifes down your pants.

...and America has a national restaurant chain where waitresses wear orange booty shorts and is called Hooters, a.k.a. fucking TITS—with television commercials encouraging people to bring their kids along because TITSMANIA is "fun for the whole family". Kotaku should stick to video games instead of drilling on and on…

"I'm tired of the racism in soccer. It's too much."

You obviously don't get out much. There's fucking ugly people in literally every single race and nationality. The same goes for dumbfucks who don't get out much.

What a bunch o' baloney. GOOD baloney.

Ninja Turtles are basically humanoid turtles. These new Ninja Turtles actually look like humanoid turtles. Get over it, people.

It's basically a walking lobster tail.

Pretty much the only way to have "good social behavior" in online gaming is to bribe people into pretending that they're not assholes.

If the Crimean attorney general was a dude, it's very likely that nobody would give a fuck...And if the Crimean attorney general was a dude and nobody gave a fuck, it's also very likely that nobody would give a fuck about the fact that nobody gave a fuck.

Everything you said was my sentiments exactly. I was actually being sarcastic throughout my entire comment, but I realized after I clicked 'Publish' that I did a shitty job in conveying my sarcasm (I'm actually somewhat decent at conveying sarcasm in my writing...usually). I personally think that the "coping…

I don't disagree with what's said in the article, but using the commenters of Gawker and its affiliates as a sample group of the interweb at large, it's obvious that the norm is to accept and relish in the ridiculing of people who suffer fucked up shit. It MUST be done because it's a...coping mechanism...for all of…

YES. I've been waiting for someone to do something like this.

Okay, I understand your confusion with my comments, and the lack of clarification is my own fault. I'm saying: I don't believe that dogs were even involved at all—and I call bullshit on what those Australian dudes claim to have happened. My suspicion is absolutely nothing but a hunch, mind you (hence the "I'm willing…

Willing to bet that I did read the fucking article.