It is the greatest line written on Deadspin.

Only one letter separates writer and waiter, after all, and the salaries are about the same.

Yes. He was and is a very good coach. He won a Superbowl with Brad Johnson. He took a journeyman 34 year old QB and made him a perennial pro-bowler and laid the groundwork for him to be MVP. The man understands the QB position. Carr’s numbers are fucking GREAT all things considered.

Look, I don’t care how rich you are, you shouldn’t be allowed to tell a plastic surgeon to “make me look like the Black Hole Sun video.”

Counterpoint: Babe Ruth living today, in a country with legal alcohol, internet pornography, and being paid tens of millions of dollars a year, would be dead within 12 months. It’s like when Bender became human in that one Futurama episode.

Cobb would collapse to his knees and start screaming the second he realized there were black players on his team, so I think he loses this one.

OK. 28 is still a relatively young man, especially for someone that has been raised in an insular and non-mainstream community.

People are products of their environments. Fury was very much a young man when he made those statements; maybe he has grown up after being shown a broader picture of the world than he grew up with. Wilder beat up and strangled a women. Both men seem to be great fathers. We have to stop looking at people as just their…

He looks like a retired gummy bear that became a police officer. 

That punter was looking just like the Statue of Liberty:

You had me at “I was in right field, chillin”

Fuck yeah. Kids today are soft. I one returned to the bar and a guy was in my seat. “Get up pal. You’re in my seat.” He looked at me. “What are you gonna do about it?” When he stood up he was a foot taller than me. Did I back down? HELL NO! I got in his face, like a man, and said, “Trust me pal, you DON’T want to find…

See my reply to Balthezor. Sorry. It’s just a lot to type on a crappy smartphone....