And if Al Gore had won his own frickin' home state, Florida wouldn't have mattered.

And yet, here we all are.

And yet, here we all are.

Trump surrounded himself with people who are convinced that to publicly declare a timetable would send a message to our adversaries: "just lay low until such-and-such date, then the Americans will be gone and you can take up arms again." It's a logical way to think, but also displays the Western hubris of thinking…

I thought I'd asked for Dr Feelgood…

He's the one holding the shotgun during shotgun weddings.

But wait - how will Chicagoans get to see this early and for free?

Trump looks at the trade deficit and convinces himself that we bought a ton of stuff from China while China didn't buy anything in return. But that's not what 'deficit' means at all. It simply means that we didn't sell as much to China as what we bought from them in return. It's one thing to bring up minor…

I'm all in favor of repeating "Republicans are soft on terror" until it sticks in the minds of voters.

I actually have sympathy for Elaine Chao. She's married to Senate Majority Leader Turtle Face, but her boss is Failing Donnie, who wants to force Turtle Face out of power.

You're probably thinking of Skokie, Illinois, in 1977. SCOTUS ruled that the Village of Skokie could not prevent the Nazi Party from marching there. But the Nazis, at the time, were simply trying to prove a point, and never actually marched there.

The only good bug is a dead bug, after all.

My grandmother grew up on a Wisconsin farm in a German-speaking household. She started kindergarten not speaking a word of English while WWI was raging in Europe, so I can only imagine the bullying she received at the time. As an adult, she was a lifelong Republican.

Nazi boobs do result in weird boners, don't they?

The whole lot of them now have a track record showing that the more vehemently they deny something, the more likely the accusation is right on the nose.

Nor French, apparently.

In light of the fact that nothing actually happened today, it's good timing for a history lesson:

But not on the curtains!

I'd read the quotes about his disappointment with Sessions, but rereading them in context…

Teddy Roosevelt was an environmental loon long before it was cool.