hahahaha classic
rslwn
rslwn
I have been called for regular jury duty, grand jury duty, and this summer, federal jury duty. Federal jury duty in Massachusetts consists of being on call every day for a three week period.
If you forgot to draw a crucifix on your seat, don’t come crying to me when a vampire drinks your vitae to stave the curse of Caine.
Hello, Kara Brown here, reporting very live from Simi Valley, California—more specifically the Ronald Reagan…
NYFWTF
Join me as I negotiate, firsthand, the ins and outs of the United States legal system.
It’s nice having a presidential candidate whose face, at all times, is a direct representation of how I feel about him: Grumpy, disdainful, and a little farty.
Meanwhile, Canadian Donald Trump is always saying “later, hosers”.
My favorite thing is when he insults someone by pointing out something about them that he’d “never say.”
Like. Some people would say that Donald Trump looks like his own wax figure semi-melted from being left in the heat of his own flatulence for too long.... *I* would never say that, far be it from me to point that…
My husband loves Kanye and loves flesh colored clothing. He’s going to flip his shit.
“and god shall smite the haters and losers”
There’s a great picture of Donald and Marla Maples back in the day when he was cheating on Ivana with her. They’re in a church and sharing a hymnal. Only problem is they were holding it upside down.
“My favorite part was where he - *clenches fist* - catches that rye.” - Trump
You’d think he could get his paid staffers to look up a quote on a prosperity gospel site...
“ Bible? My favorite Bible passage?
Well, ‘ya know, it’s everything. It’s just all so amazing, where would you even start? I love all of it. Just all of it, from beginning to end”
** I’m paraphrasing, of course. **
“if ne thing its men that want gtfo. but feminism doesnt concern herself with the opinions of men.”
Eh? I honestly have no idea what you’re trying to say.
If they run past the prison perimeter, the fedora explodes and blows up their beards.
I’m gonna make a comic now called Gentleman Planet in which men are sent to the planet Friend Zone even though they’re so nice and respectful to women who just keep wanting to date jerks. The main antagonist is a female A.I. who perpetrates the mass incarceration of nice guys and wants to continue to take power away…