you know, the loopholes where MS-13 members get automatic citizenship

My OB/GYN didn’t tell me I shouldn’t take ibuprofen until I told her that I had taken some ibuprofen. Like, even if you read the guidelines, there’s always something they’re not telling you.

but hummus seems so healthy... T_T

You’re still not hearing my point. Because you want to be bitchy about pregnant women drinking, or eating soft cheeses, or whatever. The point is, each pregnant women gets to choose her own risks, just as you get to choose yours, and “I don’t understand why it’s so hard not to drink for nine months” is beside the…

Get exercise, because maternal obesity can affect the baby, but not too much exercise, because excessive exertion could affect the baby! Eat enough, but not too much!

Except that they tell you that pasteurized cheese is fine, and indeed a good thing to eat for your calcium and protein intake. And then you get something like this (a listeriosis outbreak in purportedly pasteurized cheese) that shows you it isn’t. The point is, as a pregnant woman you can’t zero out risk. You just…

this is my question about the survey too. I know they’re using a recognized diagnostic rubric, but I wonder how many kids with relatively minor “neurological symptoms” are being diagnosed just because their mothers had a few drinks during pregnancy and, conversely, how many kids had fetal alcohol exposure but no…

(1) it was a joke, playing on how poorly defined the symptoms of fetal alcohol neurological disorders are, and

Other things to give up because they present risk:

The NYTreports that it’s typically unclear how common FASDs are because of how some symptoms are subtle, such as problems paying attention

Five: literally everything else

my wife’s OB/Gyn announced his retirement confiding in us that the legal hassles were becoming such a problem that he was spending more time dealing with that than seeing patients. And this was a doctor with a stellar reputation

that last shot =

And, it wouldn’t be a Childish Gambino-style song if he didn’t mention his preference for Asian girls at least twice.

soooo for the last couple of years or so, my retirement/post-divorce fantasy has been to buy some abandoned farmland at the edge of the map and run a subsistence farm/women’s commune. Primary members so far include me, my hair stylist of several years, and any kids of mine who manage to survive, but any other…

lol no thanks. Having my kid’s friend over for dinner but there will DEFINITELY be hard liquor (for the adults, jerks, calm down).

DONALD’S SUIT. ORANGE DUOCOLOR SILK WITH A GOLDWORK BADGE. OMG.

her faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace her achingly beautiful faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace T_T

re: Janelle Monae:

This isn’t birthright citizenship, though. Neither of these kids was born within the U.S., and therefore the 14th Amendment doesn’t make them automatic citizens. Derivative citizenship from US parents is much more complicated and based in statute.