hahaha I also thank Alexa on the regular. (Maybe because I feel bad for the times I have said “THIS BITCH....” when she ignores me. :| )

hey little cutey

“Very hard to be a 10 with tinned chicken breasts.”

I feel this. *hugs*

you’re not, but for some of us weirdos creepy and cute go hand in hand

“Now, I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you’ve thrown our budget a little out of whack”

It is a terrifying and terrifyingly sad movie. I watched it all the way through and was like, yeah, that could be me, :’(

Can we please talk about Tom Price’s weirdly pink and shiny face though? What is his exfoliation regime? Does he dye his eyebrows? There’s just... so much going on there.

lol yer man in that gif is like Babadook: The Early Years

*whispers* are you... are you from the future?

I have wanted to get a leather biker jacket for years, but they are always just a little too expensive and for fun, not function. Instead I have a deep closet of like five winter coats: one heavy-duty biking coat for bike commuting, one slicker for rainy days (with zip-in belly expander because it’s a maternity coat,…

oh my goooddd I forgot how great that exchange was.

nnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *vomits forever*

UGH DADDY I DIDN’T WANT THE “BEST DEAL” ON MY NEW CHIN!!!

his wife Ivanka, a silent serpent who distracts you with great bone structure

Things that make you go

over-unders on how soon we find out that it was just a guy named Chad that failed to screen actual Chadian nationals

Hey, Wheels, it seems like you’ve got a lot of misplaced anger. Maybe talk to someone who loves you about your problems rather than channeling your rage into extremely simplistic history lectures to some rando making jokes on the internet.

I’m gonna pull in Patti Lupone on Penny Dreadful here