Who would do that? They think they sailed to fucking Epcot or something?

Yeah football typically does result in a long, happy, healthy retirement. Good for him.

In 20 years, he won’t remember he used to be a god damn millionaire.

He won’t remember in 20 years, either.

I would gladly sacrifice my respect to live the life of Brock. In 20 years no one will remember anyway and he’ll be a god damn millionaire.

While no one likes to be laughed at, sign me up for his life.

These nicknames are bullshit. No Krapsnaps Bazingas?

Who calls Dirk Nowitzki that? Well, Dirk Nowitzki, for one.

Never a bad time to replay this Denis Leary classic...

No way he smokes it, the very mild damaged it inflicts on the lungs would be too much to ask his body to bear.

What with this, the kneeling and #metoo, it must be really hard to be a rich white dude these days. Apart from the superconcentration of wealth since 2008, the deregulation, the tax breaks, the removal of health and safety protections that makes workers so darned expensive and the ability to live above the law, it’s…

It’s almost as if this isn’t the first pickled food article posted to Deadspin this week. BIG PICKLE really makin moves.

The beauty of pickling foods is the added shelf life you get too. I pickled a red onion for a BBQ last summer and finished the jar early this spring. While maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea to eat nearly year old pickled onion, I didn’t die!

Jake Allen also captures every nuance of when I try to slide into someone’s DM’s.

Could be worse, their players could be kneeling during the national anthem.

Stop being so dramatic

They prefer to call it “not politically correct.”

I’m assuming you are average height at most? Taller people need that space for their feet.

I’ll do you one better, the overhead bins should lock upon landing and only be opened once everyone without overhead luggage has disembarked. I’ve got to sit and wait on the plane an extra 10 minutes while Drew and the rest of the mouth breathers pulls down 3 overstuffed carry-on bags each? That’s bullshit.