No, fuck that. Little truth time. I was savagely bullied from about 1st grade through Highschool. Small school, and it was one kid for 8 years that made every day of my life hell, but nothing ever happened to him because his daddy donated an entire fucking wing to the elementary school. I was undersized and had/have…

This is a good line.

The contract is for three years and comes with plenty of Percs.

We can play them in New England. We can play them in Haiti.”

I see it took you exactly 20 minutes after he posted to think of your “reply” on a Deadspin message board that nobody looks at. Seems you’re closer than you think...

To be honest, I have tons of work to do, with school starting back up next week I am WAY behind. Deadspin is an excellent way to avoid doing it.

I have it on good authority that the bartender at PF Changs is black, and that Mark Davis, after his fourth appletini did in fact offer him the job. Negotiations broke down only after Davis couldn’t get the bartender to be his best friend in the entire world as well.

“I learned to read!”

Joke’s on you: It’s actually Verne Troyer.

This picture looks like Incognito is forcing Sir Patrick Stewart to give him a blowjob.

Well...it’s football. If he plays until he’s 45 he’ll only have a few more years he’ll even be lucid.

I mean, I don’t think she make Chopra the head of HHS or anything.

I for one cannot wait for angry WEEI callers to scream about “THAT [racist slur against Muslims even though Chopra is Hindu] FACKIN DEEPAG CHOAWHPRAR”

I think most people would agree with Lauren’s position on patriot hating.

I can’t wait for this guy’s sentenzen.

I hope he still has the address of that coal mine.

You know nothing about their situation or what Ohtani is looking for, bro. They have both obtuse management and a cute center fielder.

He’s going to make a great Celtic in four or five years.