12. Horrific motorboating accident.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

The suspense as I read through that joke, wondering which way the punchline would go, was very enjoyable.

I don’t even get the comparison. One’s part and parcel of a soulless, win-at-all-costs corporation that doesn’t value its fans, and the other’s the New England Patriots.

Stanley Kubrick

on the whole no but ill be damned if i dont bump “too many erkels on ya team that’s why ya wins low” any day

That’s the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said on a website where most people come just to complain about the lack of dick picks.

John Kasich: [takes credit for creating job]

I’m not used to seeing 4 consecutive basketball plays without a foul or timeout

There was a factoid during one of the Lions games this year that none of their full-time head coaches since 1957 ever served as a head coach again. This job seems worse somehow.

Can not unsee

I know there are only 32 of these jobs and they tend to pay really well, but why would anybody with prospects tarnish their resume with this one?

No wonder the poster girl for Les Miserables is so sad. She’s a Browns fan...

2016 is set to be a banner year for the Rex Ryan coaching tree.

I want to make clear that the staff does not unanimously support the assertion here that the pastry that raccoon is eating is a donut.

Getting robbed at gunpoint leaving a strip club at closing time seems to be an essential part of the Knicks’ triangle offense.

The HOF is controlled by a shambling pack of decomposing mummies. If the majority of the population had a say, Bonds would be headed in. The PED debate being over doesn’t mean every institution has caught up to that fact.

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

“redundant”