You can always make another baby, but there’s only one foul ball.

Maybe she didn’t see that he wound up with the ball?

No. See. Ok. So back in 1998 while investigating the murder of Laura Palmer, the REAL Phil Jackson somehow managed to travel “between dimensions” and he became “stuck” in what’s referred to as “the black lodge,” which is sort of an interdimensional purgatory. Anyway, since his essence passed from this realm into that…

The salary bit is so disingenuous. Not only can the Knicks match any offer he receives in 2019-20, but due to all of the protections built into the CBA for star players, the Knicks can offer him so much more money in an extension than any other team that it’s almost insane for him to go anywhere else, which is why we…

Also, how can I divorce Boris Becker.

This may be true for YOU and YOUR political views, but there are plenty of people out there who aren’t on the fringes of politics and prefer a more centrist, moderate approach. There is nothing wrong with wanting, say, pro-choice rights for women, marriage equality, AND lower taxes and smaller government.

OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

Cleveland’s NBA team sure seems to behave in a care-free, impulsive manner.

My point is that they’re capricious, and pay little heed to impending risk.

I’m having a hard time finding the right word to describe Cleveland’s NBA team, but it’s something along those lines...

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

That logic doesn’t work.

We don’t define an object by its type of propulsion. If we did, then (according to your reasoning)...

In car racing you use an engine and wheels to move the car.

In motorcycle racing you use an engine and wheels to move the motorcycle.

Ergo: A motorcycle is a car.

I heard that the Secret Service allowed Mueller into the Oval Office one night when no one was around, and he rubbed his junk all over everytrhing.

I heard Barron Trump calls Robert Mueller “Papa Bob.” People are saying this.

No. Because they never would have beaten the 97' Bulls which featured, IRC, Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Magic Johnson, Toni Iommi, Luke Walton, Dickie Simpkins and Scotty 2 Hottie and were coached by Phil Niekro.

This is 10,000 words of him simply saying that at least Barca plays the right way or something.

And enjoy any high level sports game.

Billy Haisley wrote all the words and doesn’t have much to show for it.

I’m lost on this one. Real Madrid is great, but they didn’t like...defeat the game of soccer itself or something?

Yes they did!

I’m going to guess that Dressed Up For No Reason was a douchey fan for most of the game, standing up at the wrong times, telling people to not yell so loud while he’s on the phone, etc., and Guy Who Sells Bootleg Hats On The BART Bridge had finally fucking had enough. I don’t know what the involvement of Massive Beard…