I was on board with all of this until I looked at the contract more carefully...

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

He could have hit any part of Stephen A. and it would have landed on an ass.

He wasn’t puking, Billy.

“his outsized ‘Dark Knight’ persona. One teammate described a ‘sense of alienation’ that Harvey created around himself.”

Doctor: Sid, how many fingers am I holding up?

Lebron James

If it were up to me, I would keep the Kentucky Derby, but there would also be a competition that involved large men instead of horses, and their owners would watch from the stands in suits, and if one of the men had an injury and couldn’t keep going they would get rid of him as soon as possible in whatever way was…

It’s funny that one of these guys hid his shove behind a play-act of basketball and then ran to the ref to complain about a whistle, while the other one came straight at him and did not pretend to be doing anything other than shoving a motherfucker, and you think the one who did not bother to hide behind the rules…

that depends on how good they are.

I agree. Selling much less product and making much less money is markedly easier than selling a lot and making a lot.

I’m not sure the math here checks out...

YEAH FUCK THAT GUY AT THE 3 POINT LINE CLAPPING, BUT ALSO I’M SURE EVERYONE THINKS ‘FUCK THAT GUY’ (REFERRING TO ME) AS I LAZILY PLAY D AND THEN YELL FOR HELP THE MINUTE THE PERSON SWITCHES HANDS DRIBBLING (MOVE TO THE HOOP OR NOT) AND AFTER HE BLOWS BY ME I RAISE MY HANDS LIKE “WTF” BUT REALLY I’M RAISING THEM SO…

On the plus side, 5% of all Big Baller merch sales go to elephantiasis research.

I AM FILING THE PAPERS TO ADOPT KELLY OUBRE JR. AS MY SON RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Blind Side 2: Aggressive Uberoo

Or....

I had one of those bottles on a flight once. The contents also pressurize a bit as the aircraft climbs, so when I flipped it open, the water inside squirted straight out and hit the ceiling.

I’m not a big hockey fan, so this is the first time I’ve ever heard the name Shattenkirk. That’s uh... That’s a fun name.