Dude just stop. Only a whiny little boy can’t face the cold hard truth of our gender- we have a large, long, and statistically verified history of violence against women we’re attracted to. Women don’t. It’s us. Our problem. Sitting here thinking the stupid things you do is cowardly. A grown adult acknowledges the…

Let’s hope, 1) it ends up being true and, 2) comes out at just the right time to send this human turd into obscurity for ever and ever.

Blindgossip had a blind item that said he did a porno even. I hope that’s true. I am praying that’s true. Dear Satan, please let that be true.

Provided the rumor is about something consensual, then yes, I agree. I also do not want to know anything about Ted Cruz’s sex life. Just writing “Ted Cruz’s sex life” (twice now) makes me want to hurl.

I think it’s obviously implied to be sucking his own dick.

That quote about him being exactly the same at age 42 as he was at 17 is one of the most damning things I’ve ever read about anyone ever. And it’s crazy that it came from a friend! That is not a compliment! In no way shape or form should you be the same at 17 and 42.

“I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”

I know two people who have pasts with Ted Criz—one of his law school classmates and a former law firm partner. The law school classmate is firmly in Team Craig. She can’t stand him. The former law partner is too diplomatic to say either way, but I suspect is Team Craig too.

My plan is to watch 45 minutes of Nick Offerman silently sitting in front of a fire and drinking Lagavulin whenever a candidate says something that threatens to give me an aneurysm

It’s going to be a long road to this election but I think the puppies will help us all make it through.

I thought this was Craig, but it was some other guy, who had worked with him on the Bush 2000 campaign, who was quoted anonymously in a New York Times article:

People they killed with guns: 14. People they killed with bombs: 0.

Ok Ted Cruz is a repellant mouth-farter, but who amongst us would elect our previous roommates for anything? Why ask people who are on the cusp of adulthood to live in the same room? Why not, you know, individual cells, where people can be unsavory in peace? Ugh, roommates.

i recently discovered www.dailypuppy.com. it’s been a big help.

that’s basically why i said yes - because then i could be all ‘hey guys, paul ryan just fucked a dude!’ and then his party would disown him and he’d set himself on fire.

and pretty sure they created a federal registry for big fertilizer purchases after OKC bombing.

wow

would it be bad to have sex with him just to have an abortion to spite him? i mean i know that’s a legitimately terrible thing to do, but this is paul ryan.

Alcohol.

guys hes not wrong