And not only can their candidate do that, it’s easy. The only reason it hasn’t been done yet is a conspiracy by The Corporate Democratic Establishment to never enact their own platform, and Democratic voters are just hopeless suckers for not understanding that.

I assume he’ll be in Florida.

I love Circus Peanut in Chief and Asshole-American.

Many years ago the BBC extracted a promise from the then deputy leader of the opposition Labour Party Roy Hattersley that he’d appear on the satirical panel show ‘Have I Got News For You’. At the last minute, Hattersley pulled out of the show.

A roast of Trump in absentia would be something I’d watch.  

That would be hilarious. “Oh your not gonna be there? On second thought it does sound kind of fun. Maybe we will go.”

I hope the news outlets that pulled out change their minds

I’ve not heard Kim Jong Orange yet. It now lives at the top of my euphemism list, second only to “open-faced quesadilla” and “malevolent traffic cone”.

I like this idea. The press should still hold the event and have someone roast him, even though he won’t be there (though I suspect, that is what Sam Bee’s event will be doing).

If the world were just, he wouldn’t be attending because he won’t still be president on April 29.

HOW AMAZING WOULD IT BE IF THEY ROASTED HILLARY AND GENERALLY ACTED AS THOUGH SHE WERE THE SITTING PRESIDENT, a la HILLARYBEATTRUMP.ORG

So refreshing to finally have a government that isn’t made up of delicate little snowflakes like the left is made up of.

I’d rather watch La La Land on a loop for the rest of my life than hang out with those assholes, and I fucking hated LLL. 

They should invite Hillary too. She did win the popular vote, after all.

Hell, go all out and have Alex Baldwin as Trump and Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer.

It would be great if they had Hillary and/or Bernie as the guest(s) of honor instead of Trump.

Five minutes pre nap? My my, SOMEONE is rather indulgent.

Pretty sure they could get Obama in.

It’d be more efficient to just masturbate at my desk and pass out for fifty-five minutes. Bonus: I’d save money on gas and it’s environmentally responsible.

I bet using that hour long sex-break to take a fucking nap would be just as enjoyable and increase my productivity.