Crack Pipe 1. Clearly  they read jalopnik.

5 MPH?

We can absolutely kill all essentially all the humans in a belligerent state with nukes. Russia is too big, but we could basically turn every square kilometer of North Korea into radioactive glass if we so desired.

If we can kill all life on the planet (except for cockroaches) 20 times over instead of just 10 no one will mess with us!

That’s very interesting; I thought such things were only possible in GTA.

To be fair (and might make an interesting motor related article), most if not all light standards are designed to be sheared just like the video showed, lowing the chances of fatalities when hit.

I am honored that you made a post about this. You did a lot more justice to the topic of rotary valves than most people do. Most just assume it is a Wankel rotary engine.

• But I’m colorblind!

When it comes to football team mascots destroying kids, no one did it better than Joe Paterno.

David clearly doesn’t know how we build Jeeps in Arizona. Let me tell you the story that happens all the time here.

Toyota Master Ace? I wasn’t aware the Nazi’s still had ties in Japan.

I don’t know how you guys got this production budget approved.

Not The F8 of the Furious?  The SVP of Marketing Puns over at Universal really fucked up this time.

Wrong:

Yeah, That first rain after summer is a fucking doozy. I usually stay home that day until the roads wash clean and I can drive without fear of 15 year old Lexus ESs with completely bald tires.

I dunno, a couple of Nissan SR20s would pull a premium one week before Race Wars.

I’m gonna pretend I didn’t read that.

Is this the 5 ‘o-clock Free Jeep Giveaway?

I honestly didn’t know anyone on the Jalopnik staff was of driving age in 1997.