(while I’m making rules, if you’re requiring people to wear heels you want to continue to participate in society without being branded as a pariah, you are not allowed to have a cash bar)

Ugggh. So her soon to be ex-husband choreographs a revenge porn campaign against her, and she resigns her position. Ugh. 

“I feel disrespected by the memory of people pointing out I was a deadbeat, rather than the fact that I’m a deadbeat, so I guess my only recourse is to teach my ex a lesson and get her arrested”

I keep thinking back to how their current ballpark opened as Enron Park, and while they’ve long dissociated themselves from Enron (they had to pay $25 million to remove all the signage and rename the stadium!) but I feel like the “smartest guys in the room” legacy lives on.

The biggest tragedy in all of this is that they probably won’t be able to find another white heterosexual ivy league finance bro to take Taubman’s place.

I mean....it’s two 1/2 hours tops guests had to be there. If you don’t like cake and punch, then leave after the ceremony, or have the cake and then go to wherever. It’s not her fault she couldn’t afford it, and if cake and punch is all that there was, then eat the cake and punch and be happy you are with…

I would say the only rule of wedding planning should be: the bride and groom get to do what they want, however they want, and you are not obligated to attend/stay.

I had a devout Catholic friend who sincerely believed she’d be “rewarded” with fantastic sex if she waited until marriage. We tried to warn her, but her Catholic priest was no match. She told us the on her wedding night she’d be having non-stop orgasms and the next morning they wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast…

Maybe this is a good place to brag on my wife (slightly OT):

Not only is this guy a complete and total shithead...this situation has me rooting for the <looks around....whispers> the Nationals.

LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP. 

Yu said it, pal.

Revenge is a Darvish best served cold.

Call me old-fashioned, but there was a time when everyone didn’t piss and moan so much when an airplane abruptly pitched itself into the ground. People had a lot more character back then.

True fact: Pete actually has an average penis, but he does have a 9 inch tongue and breathes through his ears.

Joe Westworld

very cool we live with millions of fucking lunatics who think shit like this 

Every time I read “The Raisens” I start singing “Heard it Through the Grapevine” in my head. Do y’all remember the commercial that had the singing raisins?

HE’S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!

I live in a city and could easily charge an EV. I would’ve bought one of these if they were on sale last year, instead I bought a new Fiesta ST.