My mom and stepdad are snobs about most if not all things (clothing, decor, liquor, cars, restaurants) except for their damn Uncrustables*. They are in their sixties, living in a home with no children, and love those fuckin pastry pockets. I went home once and they BEGGED me to try one. I was converted.

The people want to feel like politicians are just like them. That’s one of the reasons we got Trump. It’s so stupid that people think this way. Most people will be horrified if their doctor or teacher was at their level. Yet we expect those who are making life policies and sending us to war to play idiots.

Deep-fried PB&J is one of the world’s best culinary inventions. It’s basically one of those Smuckers Uncrustables things, which makes it functionally a PB&J empanada. I haven’t had one in almost a decade and now I want one so bad.

She was able to access the jail in Manhattan undetected via the tunnels that connect it to a pizza restaurant in D.C., obviously.

Oh I see where this is going.

This is a picture of the unbelievably posh house Kid Rock grew up in, complete with a pool, ponies and a tennis court. His entire redneck persona is a complete sham designed to sell music to rednecks, the only demographic left still willing to listen to his shitty music.

Wanna know my 100% tried-and-true, surefire, guaranteed way to fit your fat ass into a wedding dress?

Or you can do what I did: order a dress online that’s slightly big so that it can be tailored perfectly only to $AVE by stress eating while wedding planning until the dress fit like it was made for my beautiful, pillowysoft bridal body.

This is just so upsetting. They’ve been doing this for the past few years now, using feminist language in the pro-life movement.

Pffft...How dare you care about Context...

I’m the last person to consider myself a “Swifty” but having read the article, it strikes me as a tad disingenuous to leave behind the context in the author claiming advocacy / representation in her chosen “Welcome to New York” quote. In full it reads “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls”…

Ugh. I feel so many mixed feelings about this. Netflix 100% duped these people and they should be held accountable for that. But I also believe that many of these people have been duped by “medical professionals” who hock them alternative diagnoses and therapies for the symptoms they experience. I think a sincere…

I’m so angry I’m boycotting all gyms and I refuse to participate in any workouts anywhere at anytime! Good day!

Yeah, I’m Team No One here. The homeowner is clearly deranged, but she’s really only cutting off her nose to spite her own face. She fucked up her own house. As for the neighbor getting all traumatized by the homeowner’s house color: calm the fuck down. The world will be a much nicer place for you if you just let go…

Hasn’t every President had sex with a porn actress when their third wife is recovering from birthing their 5th child. Then paid his lawyer to attempt to hush it up by paying her off.  I’m sure there was an epistle by the Apostle Paul about this.  

I work in HR. Can confirm. We are not your friend.

HR works for management to protect the company. The sooner people realize this, the sooner you will understand the true role of your HR deparment.

My parents met and got married two weeks later. They were together 68 years.

The Prince of Tides was neither about princes nor tides. Discuss. 

The runner-up headline for this blog was Bison Yeets Child Into Oblivion