I still understand this better than the English that comes out of his mouth.

Why I hell wasn’t this game just played on Thursday night‽

Next amendment to the Constitution “If even one person is offended it should not be said.”

I think there should be some rule that doesn’t allow a player to redshirt a year in which he or she is suspended. I mean since we are screwing them over on money already, why not just go all the way to close a loophole?

To keep himself in shape he’s going to be Rhonda Rousey’s training partner. They think it’s a win-win situation.

For a moment, after I glimpsed the headline, I read his name was “Randy Gregory Hardy” and was like “Wait, the NFL is finally going to do something about this woman beater‽ And during the playoffs? Maybe I am wrong about Roger Godell” Then I thought, “WTF am I thinking‽ I better read it again” and then it all made…

Used the defender’s stomach as a step ladder. He got a future on the football field as a kick blocker because the refs don’t care if you step on the center

Nice to see a university take a strong stand rather than have feet of Claeys.

20 years ago I was good enough to ride the bench on varsity. At 5"10' I could dunk a tennis ball but no better. I loved Rodman so I was all defense, rebound, and hustle. Just out of high school I worked at In-N-Out with the all-American point guard for Cal State LA. I got her on the court and embarrassed her-…

Next time anyone explicitly or implicitly defends a Duke student, or an Ivy Leaguer, or a Stanford student as necessarily smart due to the school they attended, then show them this. I’m looking at you all you Richard Sherman apologists.

Did the sound guy from Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve performance write that?

We may have to rethink this order...Mike Carrey is still shit last though.

It’s nice to see Michael Sam back out on the field.

Is Petchesky the only guy working at Deadspin today? Like 5 stories this morning.

Yeah, screw them for trying to make spaces available for the rest of us.

Sure he may not be on Clueless-Ego Maniacal-Billionaire-Idiot President Donald Trump’s cabinet, but once we follow him with Clueless-Ego Maniacal-Billionaire-Idiot President Jerry Jones, then you’re sure to see Switzer on the cabinet.

Hey Boogie, that’s what contrition looks like.

Mick Krizilonski’s game plan in three words:

She was stupid enough to PURPOSELY get her violation on camera. When you have the evidence so tangibly in front of you to be replayed hundreds, thousands, and perhaps millions of times then she is going to learn what Ray Lewis did.