This is literally the plot to arachnophobia.

I think we all know lil’ Marquito has nothing to do with the Real World.

Um, something tells me it will be 99 women and a dude.

Yea, sorry.

AAAAHHHH, Texas.

A moment of silence, please, for Jim Gilmore’s shattered, extremely achievable dreams.

Right below Donald Trump and Ted Cruz still being in the race for a nomination to the highest office in our nation, your comment not having enough stars is how I know we’re fucked.

He cried and said it had “Baffled the best doctors in the world”

I kind of like it.

The fact that there is an American in this country who doesn’t know who or what the biggest asshole to gape his way into the public eye “did before he ran for president, or whatever” makes me want to cry. And then move to Canada.

Oh really? The Sherriff quit because the mayor wants to install trickle down economics in a town of 700?

We’re supposed to make it up.

This post is better than Shakespeare.

I used to think “oh, there’s always been political partisanship, today is no different”

Yea... So did God oversleep in Kansas, Mississipi & Wisconsin?

Eh hum, need to clear my throat for this:

SHUT UP COMMIE!

I mean... The male tiger had impregnated two female tigers in the enclosure.

This is really the most crucial advice in an election year.

Tell me about it. Unfortunately, we were born too early. We’ll miss out on interstellar travel, living on a space station, and laughing at how backward the GOP was.