“But I thought that plan was stupid, and went and got Jimmy G.”

That’s why they call him the LeBron James of hockey.

No, just delete it. You will notice a significant quality of life boost almost immediately. Your interactions with the people you care about will be less frequent but more enjoyable. You will argue less with people you don’t know. You will feel less compulsion to check your devices every couple of minutes. You will…

wrong

Maybe the players were paid, they just forgot?

I have a friend who makes a lot more money than I do, and he’s always happy to get the check, but I pick up my share at normal restaurants, and then some. If he wants to invite me to an extra fancy dinner, then I let him pay it and show my appreciation, but he would never suggest an expensive place then ask to split,…

Wrong.

That Soundwave. Goddamn that’s awesome.

As someone who was once a kid who was taken to taverns for meals on occasion, I will tell you that a lot of them are very uncomfortable for children. They’re confusing, there’s an atmosphere of adults being out of control, there’s nothing for kids to engage with. I hated it, honestly.

I’m usually turned off by “I can’t stop watching...” clickbait headlines, but I have to admit I watched that several times.

If you think any figment of your imagination (God, Allah, Jesus, Santa, etc) is talking to you, that is a mental health issue. You should be committed.

Seeing a black woman hate on Bruno Mars while using a Japanese handle that means “I love you” should be a textbook example of the word irony.

“Most men think this is what sex is”?? That is ridiculous. Most men reading this are horrified.

yeah, they COMBINEd them.

“Why does a conglomerate like Vista and a store like Dick’s sell both rifles and bike helmets? Because the outdoor industry is strange like that.”

Oh please Trump spare us the World Cup, it’d be the first good thing you’ve done. A USA World Cup would turn the “ACTUALLY SOCCER IS AMERICA’S FASTEST GROWING SPORTS!” crowd up to 11. No one cares, just let me watch football.

The men negotiate for the salary they want. The women wait for the men to negotiate and then simply complain that they are making less and end up with matching salaries without negotiation (see The X Files). This in itself may actually be a brilliant negotiating tactic depending on your frame of view.

The Prince bit was obviously for the local connection Prince had to Minnesota. But don’t let context get in the way of your narrative.

Something that can’t get lost in the discussion of this ho-hum performance is just how bad the wardrobe choices were. Timberlake looks so good in a (regular, non-camo) suit - why would you do this to him?!? Why would you do this to all of us??? The color pallet with the back-up dancers didn’t help anything, either.

"Those are probably the most detached, unemotional tweets concerning sports you are likely to read and they are all a totally accurate description of what you are likely to see at any given game. Which is really, really strange when you think about it."