.

That’s a stupidly hot take ya got there.

Olympic drug testing will always find a way to efimova.

Well, that about wraps up the case, then! Good work, detective!

It’s not really an accusation so much as it’s stating a fact. On top of the ridiculous state-sponsored doping program that basically every single Russian Olympic athlete is complicit in, Efimova has 2 failed drug tests on her resume. Saying that she’s a drug cheater is no more accusatory than saying that the pool is…

Efimova’s coach vehemently denied the accusations of doping though.

You can always tell when swimmers beef. Just look for the bubbles.

This is one of my favorite typos ever:

Phelps turned the race around. That was the defining moment of the race, he was behind at the 50m, but with the ridiculous turn and powering down the second length, he put them ahead. If Adrian is behind to start his leg, they may not win.

Yeah, it was more like say jerking a three-run dong in the 5th inning of Game 7 of the World Series to take the lead, then your bullpen going 4 innings of no-hit ball to win. While the latter was no doubt the more impressive feat, people are going to remember the huge dong because it was the turning point of the game.

...but I get all Republican with my obnoxious patriotism...

Men’s Swimming Olympic Gold Medals since 1896:

Hey man, tell me you haven’t set records sprinting to the bathroom after that second round of jerk chicken wings before.

The Soviet Union is gone, but that didn't mean the commies left. And there's nothing a commie likes more than dominating international sporting events that most people in the free world could give two shiats about. We must win the gold in 10m air pistol for the glory of the motherland!

Listen: gymnastics is magnificent. It’s a study in strength, power, agility, and grace. Even with the subjectivity of scoring, the drama of the pursuit of perfection is philosophically entertaining.

#304 is AT LEAST top ten

The Iliad don’t got shit on this post holy fuck

1.) Swimming in human shit

America to Philly: Stop turning dumpsters into cities.

Little known fact, you can’t REALLY dive into coins like Scrooge McDuck. It would actually kill you.