Wait, so that’s not Anna Paquin? All you white ladies look the same.

In case you thought that everyone knows how to Chipotle, have a picture of President Obama not knowing how Chipotle works.

For what it is worth, this guy is a lawyer.

Amen! I tried jogging down the stairs once while drunk, slipped, hit my ass on the corner of a stair, and rolled down the rest of them like a stunt man. What developed in the following days was the most heinous ass bruise you could imagine. At no point did I develop any other bruises or “signs of falling down”. It…

“claimed that Holder merely slipped and fell”

Not really food related but my most recent celebrity encounter was in January with a Sex in the City actor. We were at a dinner with a group of clients, (he was with us), during dessert people were up and switching seats, so he sat beside our wonderful 19 yr old intern. He started touching her, whispering in her ear,…

I should have added I think this story is fake as fuck. But—let’s say you do have a small indie coffee shop and one of your employees brings a friend to “work.” They get seriously burned on the espresso machine, who do you think is on the hook? It’s a potential legal mess. This is less likely to happen at a chain…

I will always be a Ben & Jerry’s loyalist, as I used to live 37 paces from the first one in D.C. when it opened. I was enough of a regular that if the postal carrier didn’t lick the brownie batter bowl, they gave it to me. They also gave us both spoonfuls of cookie dough. She and I were never there at the same time,…

The 5 cent burger couple. “Financially Irresponsible” tipping like that, no wonder they are losing their house. And then, they have the audacity to continue to dine out (she waited on them whenver they came in).

The writing on that one is the BEST. I lost it at fleeing the great Fucks Famine of 2015.

Servers dropping things. We have two of those stories, so pick your favorite. It’s easy pickings for angry people to get mad that a server spilled something on them, especially since one of them is about a hot liquid, the other is about something being dumped on a child.

Horrible coworkers clearly bullying a person with food allergies by eating all their birthday ice cream. Come on.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

I always wanted to slip up to the server and mutter “Look, I get the legal seafood’s good enough for the chumps. But come on, pally, whachoo got in the back? Sea serpent? Mermaid? I got the cash.”

Well, Jess did work at Luke’s Diner, so he has some real world experiance. :)

“Kurt Russell” was the name of Disney’s beloved boyhood sled.

In a deli my mom owned, my toddler nephew once accidentally whacked Ben Roethlisberger in the nuts when he asked him for a high five and being a 3-year-old he got too excited and swung really hard but missed and hit crotch. It was about 16-18 months after he was criminally cleared in the 2nd rape scandal, and you’d…

Pinkham’s Law bringing out burner lawyers. This is amazing.

I used to work in a French Quarter house museum, and had a similar thing happen. I was working a party where we were all stationed in different rooms of the house and people came through in waves. I was in the dining room that had a door that opened onto the scullery and hall into the kitchen. I was keeping the door…

I would argue that this person actually did something that impacted a lot of people’s perceptions in a real way. You only complained about their experiment on social media.