Kudos to the guy at 1:32 who walks through the whole thing without losing a drop of beer.

Given the fact a report was filed, and what we learned about NFL Security this weekend in the Washington Post, there's no way the Vikings couldn't have known.

I'm guessing Vikings GM Rick Spielman already had this information (but he'll probably deny it) when he had his press conference today announcing Peterson will play this weekend. This is all sounding so familiar.

"beating the pussy up" is in fact a euphemism for engaging in really good sex.

I bet her farts go through three generations before they are free.

I dunno, maybe when the player is enraged and charging at the umpire?

That was a first...someone looking like such an asshole that Joe West looks like the good guy.

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

Roger Goodell and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week.

I swear if the next story that comes up says Ken Griffey, Jr. was on PEDs I'm quitting sports for good.

yeesh whats with the organist?

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

"Son'd."

Terrible. I can't believe that poor kid drowned after all.

So... they're sad because Vick doesn't have a dog in this fight?

It seeks unspecified money damages.

Seriously, this dude is like the midget Ryan Leaf. I shudder to think what he'll be doing for OxyContin in 2018.

I can't wait for the moral outrage in the media tomorrow from men who tried to justify domestic violence.