I’ve seen a lot of literature about malicious dystopias, but we didn’t predict the incompetence dystopia. Where the state is evil because it’s so damn stupid.

I used to work at a lunch place that served fancy salads and sandwiches, basic grill stuff, and soups. Customers would place orders at the counter and then we would deliver the food. It was in a touristy spot and we would get slammed on summer afternoons after the tours let out. Generally there was one fry cook, one…

I'm no doubt dating myself—but in my little hometown Taco Bell used to have the phonetic spellings in parentheses next to every item on the menu board. Tah-coh, Burr-ee-toh, etc. I'm not kidding.

Thanks, Pinkham. Perhaps it says nothing good about me that I love to laugh at the stupidity of others but I do. I suppose it's a shortcoming of my character that I'll just have to learn to live with.

I can corroborate that secret shopper shit.

I had to actually explain to my managers (a few of them over the years) that "as the son of public school teachers, I cannot let ignorant people keep believing in incorrect facts"... Like when customers told me about a location and/or entree that DOES NOT EXIST!!! (I believe you're referring to TGIFridays or…

i have literally only seen that behavior done by toddlers, incarcerated youths/adults (prison or mental health care facility), and a handful of just downright loony-bins. one time i found a sink full of bloody water and a used tampon. it was a starbucks on a slow afternoon- only one female patron in there. i asked her…

After reading cover letters and resumes from complete idiots, today's BCO has restored my faith in humanity. Thanks, Trout!

I can't even. Between the proliferation of crap and nonsense on the Food Network* and the people who bitch and moan on Yelp because their server didn't smile enough or read their fucking minds, I'm done.

When I was a butcher's clerk at a supermarket (basically the assistant) I had the exact same argument with a customer. They asked for a T-Bone and, when I held it up for them, CALLED ME A MORON and asked for "A...T...Bone. The one with the little extra meat on it! Damned kids, don't know anything."

Here in Denver nobody can pronounce 'quinoa' (to be fair, this was a few years ago); I've heard myriad variations, but my favourite was 'quinn-oh-na' as in Quinona Ryder. *Snort* Even after subtly using the correct pronunciation the woman still insisted on calling it quinona.

My other favourite story was when I was…

For what it's worth, I seem to remember news articles circulating a while ago that a lot of people are genetically unable to taste cilantro as anything other than soap. It's not a put-on attitude but a reality. I'm not sure whether it's worth mentioning this in a brief way to waitstaff?

I'm probably one of the servers who throws shade when someone tells me they have a ridiculous allergy. Not all the time, but.. Uhg. Tell me you're a vegetarian, vegan, or that you don't eat lettuce for religious reasons, and I will respect you and go through hell to get you food that meets you needs. But there is a…

I would find that a bit overwhelming, too, but it's better than the response of outright ANGER about my allergy when I told a server about my nut allergy and then I get a cheese plate COVERED in walnuts (or something similar). I then asked for it to be brought back walnut-free but completely replaced because of…

I work at a B&B, and usually run the breakfast shift alone. Every time a guest sits down, I describe what I'm cooking that day and list every item, giving them a chance to make omissions. And this is such a small thing . . . buuuuuut it gets SOOOO annoying: people who have to make a big deal about asking for "just a…

On the subject of removed menu items, one of my favorite local places changed management and the new guy despised a particular appetizer menu item: garlic parsley fries, served with aoili. He had some kind of garlic-hatred and removed them from the menu almost immediately, citing that they made the whole restaurant…

Unless you say you have a gluten allergy, then you should be cunt-punched. There's no such thing as a gluten allergy. Do you have Celiac? Fine, tell me you have Celiac, I'll personally ensure there isn't a grain by-product anywhere near your plate. Gluten Allergy or Sensitivity...GTFO.

RANCH FEVER IS REAL, YA'LL. I worked at Denny's for a few years, and people would ask for cereal bowls full of ranch so frequently that I stopped being surprised after a few weeks. And the OP's dead on — it's ONLY ranch, nobody would do this shit with Honey Mustard or Catalina French. I assume Ranch Fever is a more…

Red Hipster
You've probably never heard of it. Anyway, it was way better before it sold out and started actually serving food.